Little Star Of Hope
by Ranma Inverse
Summary: YxS: Yue muses about Sakura and other things, but mostly Sakura. Slightly angsty. Mention of shounen ai and shoujo ai.


**Little Star Of Hope**   
by Ranma Inverse

  
  
  


_Author's notes: Hope you enjoy. Warning: This has mention of shoujo-ai and shounen-ai (girl/girl relationships and boy/boy relationships). The actual romance is directed from a 'male' to a female. Though when you think about it, guardians actually have no gender. Ah well, ignoring that part..._   
. . . 

"Yuuuuukii!" I watched in silence as the beautiful blonde haired woman who had recently turned eighteen turned her head my way and smiled. 

"Yuki! How's Yue?" she asked, her stunning green eyes concerned, but bearing a content happiness that only someone in love could achieve. An engagement ring wound around one of her fingers in her left hand, given to her by her once rival, now lover, Syaoran Li. 

At the mention of him in my thoughts, jealousy and anger was aroused. I fought them down, but they refused and stayed, causing pain to emerge along with them with the ruckus they caused. I sighed and continued to watch the woman I had grown to love inside my false form's, Yukito's, mind. Yukito had slowly become aware of me, but could not read my thoughts and feelings, as I could his. 

"I think he's fine," my false form guessed. How wrong he was. Fine was far, far over an overstatement. 

Frustrated, I tried to ignore the conversation between my false form and my love. 

Yes, I had fallen in love with Syaoran Li's woman, the mistress of the cards, my false form's love's younger sister, the one to whom I was a guardian. 

The woman who was the human embodiement of a star. A star of hope, one that would cause you to smile. She was my little star of hope. She always is a symbol of hope for some, but few would ever know just how special she was. 

Syaoran Li loved her, Tomoyo Daidouji loved her, Kerberos-suprising as it was when I first realized it-loved her, Eriol loved her, and I loved her. Her brother, my false form and many others loved her as well, but in a different way, be it friendship, sibling or otherwise, but it was still _love_. 

And those are just the few that knew of the cards. 

Sakura Kinomoto, the beautiful star of cherry blossoms. 

I sighed and watched her conversation with my false form end and her body disappear into the distance, waving goodbye and wearing a kind, caring smile that was only hers. 

I have once again lost my heart to someone I can never have. First Clow Reed, my first master, who had been kind, cool, calm, intelligent, magnificent and beautiful in his own way. Now Sakura, who's smile could brighten one's day, emotional and generous, kind and innocent, intelligent and empathic, loving and..._alive_. 

She shone like a star, glowed with the essence of victories won and those yet to be, and glittered with love. 

I will not regret the love I had for Clow Reed, nor will I regret the love I have for Sakura Kinomoto, my little star of hope. 

Regret for not taking a chance and going after her when Sakura was not fully in love with Syaoran is what I will feel though. Regret for not telling her my feelings for her and taking a chance to turn the love she was feeling towards that hong kong boy to me. Regret for not stepping forward. 

If only I wasn't the judge, if only I had been the one sealed on the front cover on the book, the one to guard the cards and if it was opened, to guide the opener of the book. But then, Kerberos always was better at guiding people and helping them along. 

Kerberos hasn't realized my feelings for our card mistress, and I hope that he never does. He would either push me to tell her or become wary since his own feelings towards her were quite similar. Both of us know, though, thatwe could never win her heart, as it was already lying in the hands of Syaoran. We just pray that he doesn't hurt her. 

I was jealous of my false form, as he would speak with her daily and I hardly ever at all. Only when it was about the cards or when I thought it was absolutely necessary to come out, was I able to speak with her. 

As much as I want to always be out and about instead of my false form, he too is a being that deserves to live a life. It is he that everyone grew up knowing, and I cannot simply take over and never let him appear again. He also has a lover that would not be able to bear his disappearance forever. Normally I would not give a thought to another's emotions if it not intermingled and extremely important to the cards, clow reed, my new mistress or Kerberos, but this was, in a way. Normally I would not give a thought to the idea of causing such pain that would in turn cause my mistress pain. The thought of hurting her at all or in any way is too much. 

I fear that I venture too deep into thought too often, and so perhaps I should pay attention to what is going on around my false form. 

I thought after what happened, the pain that I had felt wit Clow would be the same thing I would feel around my little star of hope, Sakura, but it isn't. There is only a slight sadness, for I will never be able to tell her I love her or kiss her in the way lovers would kiss. 

There is joy and laughter and smiles that only she has ever caused me to feel. Because of this, and many more reasons, I love her so much that I do not fear pain if it will keep her alive and well, and most importantly..._happy_. 

I smile as I once again see Sakura through my false form's eyes and there is but few words that mean the most to be spoken in silence to her. 

Let my mistress hear it as the night falls and she drifts to sleep, as I watch over her protectively and sneak a kiss while she sleeps, a kiss that she will never know she recieved. 

_Fear not the night, fear not the day, for I will keep you safe and happy. To do this I will guard also the one you love._

_ Sleep well, my little star of hope, sleep well, my love._   



End file.
